Deciphering Sleepy Cues
I have a lot of new parents ask me “how do I know when baby needs to sleep???” There’s so many things to learn when you’re preparing to welcome a new little into the family, especially if it’s your first time around. It can feel overwhelming!
Sleep is one of those things that new parents feel the most nervous about, and it is often the thing they can feel the most overwhelmed by when baby gets here. Having some knowledge ahead of time can help new parents walk into this season with confidence, and a few tricks in their back pocket. Yes, it’s true, you will get much less sleep than you once did when that new baby comes. But no, it doesn’t have to last forever, it doesn’t even have to last very long! Learning about your babies sleepy cues can help so much.
So let’s chat about those sleepy cues
First thing’s first. Pay attention to wake windows. Below I have a starting point for wake windows by age that I recommend. Starting here as a baseline will give you a good clue in to learning what your baby’s sleepy cues are. Aiming for these wake windows from the jump will help you know when baby needs to sleep, and will help your baby be the right amount of tired to get good sleep. We’re looking for that Goldilocks effect, not overtired, but still tired enough.
0-3 Months - 60-90 Minutes
3-4 Months - 90 Minutes-2 Hours
5-6 Months - 2-3 Hours
7-14 Months - 2-4 Hours
14-24 Months - 5-6 Hours
Now, let’s talk about how those wake window recommendations are a range. This is very important to remember. As a rule of thumb, your baby will start out at the low end of the range, and then move gradually towards the longer end of the range by the time they are at the top end of the age range. Make sense? So your 3 month old will probably be able to handle a wake window of about 90 minutes, and by the time they are nearing 5 months old, they should be able to handle about a 2 hour wake window. They will make this change gradually as they age. Sometimes they do it pretty naturally, sometimes they need a bit of encouragement.
But we’re halfway into this blog post and you may be thinking, “wasn’t this supposed to be about sleepy cues? All you’ve talked is wake windows!” I promise I’m getting there.
Wake windows matter because they are your baseline. They help you learn what those little sleepy cues might be. The quickest way to learn your baby’s sleepy cues is just to watch them. Be observant, see what they might be for your little one.
Some of the most common sleepy cues include yawning, rubbing their eyes, sudden fussiness, and redness around the eyes. But your little one will likely have their own unique consistent sleepy signs that they start to show you. You’ll see these pop up at the end of their appropriate wake window and that will be your sure sign to get that little one down for a nap.
Let’s put this into practice for a minute
So, for instance, if your little one is 16 weeks old, they are in the middle of the 90 minute to 2 hour wake window range. So if you’re struggling to find what they can handle for a wake window at this point, start to pay attention closely at about 75 minutes of awake time. Look for any signs that they might be sleepy, such as yawning or rubbing their eyes. As soon as you see those signs, start that naptime routine and get them to sleep. Do this again for the next wake window and so on. Throughout a day or two, you should start to notice a consistent timeframe that they start to get sleepy by, and this will be your clue-in to what is their current appropriate wake window.
Wake windows can vary by 15-30 minutes throughout the day for your baby, and the pattern is different for every baby. Some babies like a longer wake window first, and then gradually handle a shorter wake window throughout the day. Some babies like a shorter wake window first. Some babies like their wake window stable and consistent throughout the day. This is why it’s so important to pay attention to your specific baby’s sleepy cues so that you know what works for your baby.
There are many sleep schedules and guides that you can find out there that will tell you what your baby’s wake window should be today, and a lot of them are excellent starting points! I always include a goal schedule for my clients when I create their custom sleep plan that includes current wake windows. However, nothing can beat what you know your baby is telling you on when they are sleepy. So learn that baby’s sleepy cues and listen to what they tell you! Remember, sleep schedules and sleep training is not a one-size-fits-all, and you know your baby best. That is why I feel so strongly about my offerings of one-on-one coaching and customizing each sleep plan that I give to families. (View our package options here!) I want to take the time to get to know your individual family and your baby’s unique needs before making any plan on how to address your current sleep challenge.
~Becca