Creating The Perfect Bedtime Routine
When someone brings up your child’s bedtime, what is your immediate reaction? Relief? Dread? Excitement?
Bedtime can bring up so many big emotions, for parents and kids alike! Maybe it’s a sweet time together at the end of your day that you cherish. Maybe it is one giant battle every night that you dread all day. Maybe it’s a little of both or something in between. Bedtime can and should be a sweet and simple time together, and if that’s not your story right now give us a call. We would love to make bedtime a more pleasant experience for everyone involved! It’s so important for little ones to get the sleep that their little bodies need, and so important for grownups to get their well earned break at the end of the day.
One of the first things that I always recommend when working with a family, regardless of what sleep challenge we are addressing, is to implement a solid and consistent bedtime routine. Oftentimes a family will have a bedtime routine already in place that we can just tweak to make it work well for the goal we are working towards, but I have a favorite baseline bedtime routine that I often recommend to families who are looking to establish a routine. It is applicable for all ages that I work with, so regardless of your child’s age, or if you have multiple, this is for you!
Check it out below!
I recommend starting the bedtime routine 45 minutes before actual bedtime. Yes, you read that right, a whopping 45 minutes! Why is this? Because it is so helpful for little minds and bodies to have plenty of time to wind down before sleep. 45 minutes gives them plenty of time for their brains to pick up on the cues that it is now time for bed and time for sleep, and they can begin to tell their body this and trigger the right sleepy hormones to kick in.
Start with a warm bath. This does not have to be a full scrub down bath every single night, but even just being in some warm water can help soothe your child and cue their body and mind that it is time for sleep soon. Follow the bath up with a gentle lotion massage. You can use any lotion of your choosing. Some parents like lavender or chamomile for their extra soothing qualities, and some parents prefer non-scented lotion. Any will do the trick! Just the lotion and the gentle massage will be so beneficial to your child and, again, helps their mind and body have a cue that sleep is soon.
Once they have had their bath and massage, it is time for pjs. ***Pro tip - if you have a particularly strong willed toddler or preschooler, giving them independence where you are able to can often lessen the battle of wills. Things like picking out their own pjs can be such a simple help in this fight. ***
Once they have their pjs on, this is where you make the bedtime routine your own a little bit. Do their stories, songs, or whatever your family likes to do to wind up the day. Just make sure it is not something too stimulating, as we do not want to undo all the sleepytime progress we have made up until this point! ***Another opportunity for toddler independence, let them choose their own stories and songs.***
At this point, if your child takes milk, this would be the time. The bedtime feeding is the very last thing you do before putting them down. Make sure whether they have a sippy, a bottle, or are breastfeeding, you keep them awake for the entirety of this feeding. We do not want them falling asleep while eating as this will form some tough habits to break and can create longer term sleep challenges. So do what you need to do to keep them awake, whether that’s tickling those cute little feet, pulling their feet out of their pjs, or taking breaks during the feed.
Once they are fed, it is now time to put them into their crib or bed, and cover them in their sleep sack or blankets depending on their age and stage. Once in their bed, turn on that sound machine, turn off the lights, say goodnight, and leave the room.
A couple of things to note here about this bedtime routine
Did you notice that I said to turn on the sound machine and turn out the lights as you were leaving the room? This means that the lights have been on and the sound machine off throughout the bedtime routine up until the very last moment. This is intentional. These last cues that it is time for sleep as you’re leaving the room can be so helpful for their little minds and bodies! So keep it in this order for your routine.
The other thing to note is, once they are out of the bath, carry out this entire bedtime routine in their bedroom. This helps them wind down and not be stimulated by being in multiple areas of the house. This, again, is a cue to them that sleep time is coming. This also creates a long amount of quality time with you as the parent in their bedroom. This can be very beneficial for kids, especially kids that struggle with separation anxiety. Knowing that their room is a safe and fun place where their parents spend quality time with them, can help them feel more at ease when it’s time for them to go to sleep independently.
And just like that, TA-DA, bedtime is done!
Obviously it will go smoothly some nights and not so smooth other nights, but consistency is key. Feel free to take this bedtime routine and implement exactly as I’ve described it, or customize it to make it work for your family. If you need help customizing this routine or bedtime feels like a never ending battle that you just cannot win, let’s set up a free consultation call to chat about how I can help! Click here to schedule yours today.
~Becca